Funny Meanings...

Cigarette:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.


Love affairs:
Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular
than a five-day test.


Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman
gains her master.



Divorce:
Future tense of marriage


Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.


Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he
got the biggest piece.


Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by
feminine waterpower.. .


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Dictionary:
A place where divorce comes before marriage.

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Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.


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Ecstasy:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never
felt before.


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Classic:
A book which people praise, but do not read.


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Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.


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Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.


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Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.


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Etc:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.


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Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that
nothing can be done together.


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Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.


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Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.


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Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.


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Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually
look forward to the trip.


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Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.


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Optimist:
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am
not injured yet.


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Pessimist:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the
first letter in word OPPORTUNITY

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Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.


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Father:
A banker provided by nature.


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Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.


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Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.


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Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.


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Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.