Marriage & Freedom...

One my close friend is getting married soon and his FB status saying "just few days of my bachelorhood and freedom". And I was started thinking...Is Marriage Really the End of Freedom?

But what is freedom?

Is it the freedom to do whatever you want whenever you want?


Is it the freedom of having the ability to be romantically involved with whomever you want whenever you want?

Is it the freedom of having no responsibilities and only worrying about yourself?

Yes it's true any relationship comes with responsibilities...One has to accept that marriage certainly comes with boundaries and terms and conditions...But that's fine it's a part of life.I mean we can't be overdosed of freedom. Some one very truly said "When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose.” and ”Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.”

What I feel you will loose your freedom in your relationship (especially in marriage) when you loose your individuality.Marriage, to me, certainly does not mean losing one’s individuality. You still are the person you were, before you got married. If I had to completely change myself, just to keep my spouse happy, then I doubt if my marriage will go long way.

Many people I know, accommodate their spouses demands (whether reasonable or not) for the sake of peace in the house.When I look around me, most people who have been married more than 3-4 years or so, feel stuck . But they ‘adjust’ and ‘compromise’ and carry on. (Not just the women, the guys too). Sometimes the issues in a marriage are not ‘big enough’ for a divorce. And at times it's just impossible that those issues can resolve by talking.....Mostly couples ‘adjust’ because there are kids involved, societal pressure involved, ageing parents involved. Some might argue that marriage itself means ‘adjustment’ and 'compromise.'

Many couples share their email accounts and their passwords too. The spouse is ‘not allowed’ to have friends of the opposite sex. If a friend is of the opposite sex, then they cannot call you, text you, mail you, unless the spouse also reads it. ......Too much at times.........few days back I was online very late and chatting with one my old classmate and he asked me "you are talking to me too late " your hubby will get annoyed". for him its was really a big deal............I told him don't worry....

Then I realized I am fortunate enough....I have my own set of friends (both male and female) and he has his own....yes we do share our passwords but we really never bothered to check each other's email or text untill unless necessary...And I think this is healthy and essential too.

It all depends how you make it work for you.And personally, I feel, that just like marriage, it applies to everything in life. And personally, I feel, that just like marriage, it applies to everything in life. At times we still find issues (like me)  - then work on your relationship. Just like you would work on other things. I had to work on making my hubby understand many many things - and our marriage is working coz both him and I are reforming ourselves as we go along, without having to compromise or sacrifice much. We still maintain our identities and are able to be happy with each other. Personal email and bank account are a must. Friends of opposite sex are a must. Complete trust in your partner is a must. For me, my personal space is a must, as much as I love my husband. I need my friends, my time with them and it is indeed important to me.


If things working for you and you are happy and enjoying your life it's fine.

If not then might be it's time to think about it?